I am awake at 1am because I am wrestling with courage. Why am I wrestling with courage?
I have this idea, and it will take work and discouragement is setting in. It doesn't take alot for discouragement to get a foot hold and tear apart something.
I think of what God says about thinking on whatever is good. Courage is good, right?
Discouragement is the opposite of good, therefor evil, of Satan. Discouragement is like a cancer, it starts as a nagging little thing and grows into the death of an idea. I know that Satan does not want us to succeed, (well unless we are working for him) he likes to destroy us, he'd like us to just lay down and do nothing, to be a bump on a log, making no difference in this world, especially not a difference for God, let along doing something good for our fellow humans.
I struggle alot with discouragement, I want to lose weight and have the goal in mind when discouragement comes along and says.......why should you give up this or that, here have some M&Ms. Or I want to begin exercising and discouragement says....oh it is to muddy out to go for a walk, exercise is boring, why don't you sit down here at the computer (oh Adah) or read a book.
I know there are alot of things we have accomplished here that have taken pure courage, but it has not been my courage. I am a wimp when it comes to courage, I am easily swayed from things by the simplest remarks or thoughts. I would not, nor could I have done the things we have done here alone, I gain courage from my husband, but on the same note he can discourage me with a simple negative remark.
I need to gain courage to act on my ideas, despite what others may think, but how? I suppose courage needs exercise. I know I have courage, just like the cowardly lion had courage all along in the Wizard of OZ. It comes by baby steps, I guess.
How do I get discouragement to leave me alone, how do I overcome it? It comes in so many forms, such as the feeling of being overwhelmed, I get that one alot. Depression, too. It is like discouragement likes to stick out his foot and trip you up at every turn and then runs away laughing, as you fall on you face. It is usually a lie.....you can't do that, your not good enough, your not smart enough, your not good looking enough, your just going to fail and on and on it goes.
I remember how long it took me to get up the courage to make my first batch of soap, boy was I scared I would fail, it must have taken 6 months. I didn't fail and then I was off an running, but somehow courage requires new lessons with each new venture. Hummmmm.
That is it, isn't it?
Discouragements goal is to get you to fail before you even try. WOW.
What is the worst that can happen if one fails, of course depending on what it is.........at least in this case I won't die, I may have to pick myself up and dust myself off..............
Do you struggle with this?
Maybe I can sleep now, since I have talked about it with you all, thanks for listening.